Jan. 22, 2003
All this rah-rah rant for war is becoming as tiresome as listening to a whining
child who isn't getting his way. I
know you've got this thing for
's bogeyman. But your obsession with stealing another
country's oil ignores and imperils an entire planet already threatened by
carbon-induced ecological collapse. It's the oil, George, that's the real weapon
of mass destruction. Even if you "win" every last oil reserve,
everyone else will lose. But instead of questioning the rush to transfer
all that liquid carbon from deep under ground into the atmosphere, all we're
hearing is how much you need to "Kill! Kill!
Kill!" for another oil fix. Wasn't
you should seek professional help. While
you're at it, tell Dick and Donald to put a cork in it, too. (That's British for
shut your gob.) Your distractions
Just about everyone understands that sweet
crude is an even stronger addiction than
alcohol or cocaine to a
oilman. We know that your brother Jeb threw out the
winning votes in
we know who paid for your selection as CEO of the
by a few Grand Ol' Party cronies disguised as
judges. Okay, so you're the
president with an MBA. Maybe
that's why a
newspaper observed that repaying billions to your backers
has not been so much a presidential purchase "as a corporate merger." Others
in Congress are calling it the looting of
by a "Commander-In-Thief"
as scrupulous as Marcos, Noriega, Saddam, Sukarno, Diem,
Sharon, Netanyahu and other past and current
White House allies.
Under your Enron-staffed regime (with
admittedly plenty of other top people pulled from other corporate ranks), the
paper went on to say that after your coup, "The distinction between
business and government has simply been blurred to near invisibility."
April 27, 2001
Makes me nervous.
I'm not sure you're qualified to manage a corner store, let alone run the most
powerful country on Earth.
You say you want to control the whole world.
Do you at least have a learner's permit? Your
record isn't exactly reassuring. Even
after being rescued from your first failure in the oil business back in '79,
when Osama's brother
bin Laden stepped in to finance Arbusto in
-- and despite Big Oil bailing you out of your repeated
incompetence -- you never proved too swift at running companies.
Except into the ground.
with our spaceship and we're screwed. I gotta tell you George,
a whole lot of people onboard this sun-circling space colony are less than super
impressed by how you put the kibosh on Kyoto -- before making bloody grabs for
oil transfusions in Afghanistan and now, it
looks like, Iraq. And
FARC you too. What's going on in
? What are
American advisers doing fighting rebels in that country's oil patch?
Maybe we should ask those FARCers
why they're so upset. I understand about your needing to ensure
another petro fix. But hey,
we could all cut back a little instead. Didn't
you hear what happened the last time American advisers ventured into another
jungle, where was it,
Sorry. I know you don't like going here. But
your "War On Terrorism" hasn't been a big success either. Even
before you could finish congratulating yourself on whipping al Qaeda, they blew
. It's true that opium production's back on track in the
country that supplies most of
's heroin needs. (What's the White House skim these days?)
And two oil pipeline deals potentially worth bazillions are now going
ahead over there. (Ask Dick about that.) But women are still being tortured,
gang-raped and shot by the thugs you supported to get rid of the last thugs you
supported in that desperately impoverished place of war-weary widows and hungry,
one-legged mine amputees. You
. And we remember
that you never caught Osama bin Laden like you pledged you
What's the point exactly of spending $585,000 a minute on weapons of mass
destruction -- when some two-million Americans are homeless, many of the rest
can't afford to get sick or grow old, schools and ghettos have become
war zones, and entire towns
are being boarded up just like the factories
that used to employ them?
I'm just wondering if you really have to go looking
for trouble when you have so much at
Who's the enemy again? Old pals keep
changing into new enemies and back again so fast, I can't keep track. It's the
Russians right? Once a commie, always a commie. But I hear they're broke.
Their missiles are rusting in their silos, a weekend pilot in
gets more flight time than their best fighter jocks, and
sailors are refusing to put to sea in subs sinking at the dock.
Besides, didn't they just join NATO?
Looking at the leader of a nation that was once a beacon of freedom, hope
and decency to the entire world, I don't get why you persist in the cowardly
mugging of indigent neighbourhoods unable to defend themselves against waves of
stealth bombers, missiles, impregnable battle tanks and remote-controlled drones
delivering Hellfire upon any unidentified "enemy" ensnared in their
thermal imaging devices. The
Pentagon keeps saying they need more expensive weapons to ensure that Americans
can keep most of our ship's remaining resources for themselves.
(And help pay for all those arms.) The brass even published a study
warning that billions of people forced to scrounge for garbage in steerage class
are bound to get seriously pissed off. Why
not feed them George? It's cheaper than shooting everybody. Use the armed
forces to bring groceries, medicines, blankets, building supplies, heating oil
and respect into places like
-- like you promised
, and said you were going to do in
let's face it. Even though you've already declared war on 60 nations, and
the corporations your dad fronts for are working round-the-clock to make more
profits and munitions -- there just aren't enough bombs to go around.
Don't look now, but a starving, nearly collapsed country you called an
"Axis of Evil" has basically invited the world's solo
Superpower to buzz off -- while
brewing a few of their own Big Bang "deterrents" against a madman
brandishing B-2s, bio-weapons and something like 12,000 nuclear bombs.
That's you, George. What
happens when more countries fed up with your ignorance and your bullying start
's lead? Europeans are already waking up to the
strength of the Euro and their own heritage.
What's going to happen when they realize they don't need the
anymore? At least not half as much as you need their money
. Everyone knows
you're kiting checks to pay for all those weapons. Issuing IOUs to cover all
those overdrafts as they're presented for payment can get pretty hairy.
If you can't keep rolling over all those government bonds
every three months, you won't be able to make the next payroll for
federal employees. Including everyone in the armed forces.
You don't want to go there. When the Soviets stopped paying their
soldiers, a lot of them went rogue. Even
now some of your top brass are expressing doubts about the general-ship of
someone who went AWOL from his own military service.
Your undeclared wars on the environment, alternative energy, international law,
compassion and common sense aren't playing well either. Last Saturday, nearly
one million Joe Six-packs, their wives and kids, older folks, students, American
Muslims, Jews, people in wheelchairs and every other walk of life took a walk
together in streets across
. Did you happen to catch what they were shouting?
"No blood for oil!" "Peace
is patriotic!" "George
Bush is not our president!" Wild
stuff. Maybe half a million marched in the Capitol you fled.
At least another 200,000 true patriots jammed 15 broad boulevards from
's City Centre. Plus
all those other peace protesters in big cities and small towns right across the
. Most of those folks were ordinary Americans who never
dreamed they would participate in a public demonstration. But you've got
them all riled up. They fear for their children's future. And for all the other
kids caught in your crosshairs. So
there they were, all those Americans you say you represent, coming together to
tell you it isn't cool to rip up their Constitution, imprison thousands of
people without charges, or drop more bombs on a million corpses in that lair of
mass-marketed menace and Cradle of Western Civilization, Persia. Otherwise known
. When you look
at your watch, glance at a calendar, learn the alphabet, use a "0" in
calculating your take, or plead someday for the protection of law -- think
, George. That's where all those things came from. Just like
you, people everywhere are running out of patience. Only they're asking, where
does one tantrum-throwing brat get off blowing away an entire country, while
threatening the rest of us with more of the same?
Better think again. Massed gunfire, starvation and bio-warfare may have
worked great in wiping out
's founding civilizations. But dropping 100,000 tons of bombs
and hundreds more tons of radioactive munitions on a country the size of
-- before pulling the trigger on 12 years of epidemics and
genocidal sanctions -- has not made many friends among the other 95.5% of the
world located beyond the
border. What we
want to know is why the leader of 4.5% of our space colony's population scuttled
Kyoto's meagre attempts to save our atmosphere -- while his country continues to
spew one-quarter of all global greenhouse pollution into our ship's closed
recirculating air and weather systems? Are
you really that addled after all those partying years?
Or are you simply hogtied by Big Oil, Big Tobacco, Big Banks, Big
Pharmaceuticals, Big Credit Card Companies -- and all those logging and mining
interests that bought your presidential selection for $81 million? [The Guardian
April 27, 2001
shrink. But maybe you feel so threatened or embarrassed by landing yet another
job you've admitted you didn't earn, you feel you have to control everyone who
doesn't think like you -- which includes most people on this planet. Except
maybe a few tyrants jealous of what the New York Times termed your
"dictatorial powers". Meddling
, the 'stans. If this is some kind of control trip over oil,
are you sure this is a good idea? Maybe we should leave the rest of it in the
ground. Look at Mars, George. Get your hands on some photographs of Venus.
Scientists say that what happened in those places is something rather unpleasant
called "Runaway Greenhouse Warming". Like what we've got going here.
another hint: Teller miscalculated. Spreading megatons of microscopic
sunlight-reflecting particles into the atmosphere behind USAF tankers isn't
helping to cool things down. Instead, Spaceship Earth is foundering fast. The
polar ice caps are melting, astonishingly violent weather is causing costly
chaos everywhere. And the rungs of the food chain atop which politicians,
corporate heads, bomber pilots and all the rest of us so precariously perch are
being rapidly dissolved by something called the "Sixth Great Extinction
Event". Extinction is forever,
Dubya. And get this: The atmosphere protecting almost every living organism
onboard our spaceship is as thin as a sheet of typing paper draped over a beach
ball. Only this beach ball is not something you want to play with. Not
while it's whizzing at 7,000 miles per hour through the cold irradiated vacuum
of deep space. We want to avoid a puncture! Which means we have to take good
care of our space colony's paper-thin atmosphere. Because not even the
President-select of the
can run down to K-Mart and get another one on special.
forget the oceans. Deepwater sailors like myself know that most of the really
big changes spelling Big Trouble for us are taking place out of sight of land.
Even though you can't yet see the seas about to lap the White House lawn, the
ocean view is getting scary in places like
. You do recall that our planet is two-thirds water.
Have your advisers mentioned that the oceans that supply most of our food are
seeing their fisheries collapse? Or that all those tiny plankton that used to
float around in huge happy colonies busily scrubbing CO2 from our space colony's
closed, recirculating oxygen system are disappearing? Part plant, part
animal, these crucial critters are dying back even faster than the sharks in the
Atlantic, and the coral reefs which nourish so much of the marine food I just
thought I'd mention this, since America's media mesmerizers keep hyping
consumption-driven distractions, while censoring all of the really vital news
stories. A quick refresher: Humans can go without food for a few weeks. But they
can only live without oxygen for about two minutes. Then they die.
have missed this next part. Pay attention. There will be a pop quiz very soon
for the entire planet. The World Wildlife Fund now says that if everyone in the
keeps consuming at current rates, we'll all be dead by 2053.
Just like in those space disaster flicks, where the marooned astronaut either
fries, suffocates or starves. Or pops like a balloon after being exposed to pure
till you drop" is no longer a metaphor. If we keep consuming like there's
no tomorrow, there really won't be a tomorrow!
We'll die carrying our last purchases home, trying to fill that
unfillable emptiness within.
is ticking on much more than
. Scientists say we've got just 50 more years to either mend
our mass dysfunction or evacuate everyone to at least two more Earth-like
probably not going to happen. Not even with all that alien technology I know
you're hiding. And all those bases on Mars. (That's a joke right? The last time
your own Space Command tried to launch a Star Wars missile, it blew up in really
expensive fireworks, before crashing into the ocean and killing more fish.) Our
only chance now is for everyone to quickly pull the petroleum needles out of
their arms. Like the lady sang, our
feet were made for walking. And bicycles and buses could really take off, once
we start leaving our portable carbon burners in our driveways. You're an energy
guy. Think of all the fuel cell powered public transit that could be bought for
the price of just one $2.2 billion B-2 bomber!
pie in a some lethally smoggy sky. This new technology is yummy, home-cooked
Canadian pie. You know. Those people living in igloos and log cabins who built a
jet-propelled Arrow that flew circles around the American Air Force. Now you can
buy fuel-cell buses from this on-line land of dog-sledding Sgt. Prestons.
If you put one of these bus's exhaust pipes in your mouth, all you'll get
is water. (Try doing that in
!) That's right,
. You can't miss the place. It stretches along your entire
northern border. There are some really smart people up here, George. And a lot
of them are yelling at you. It's
true that when Canadians get cold, which is often, they waste more energy than
anyone else. But we're working hard
to become more responsible spaceship drivers. We've just ratified
. And some of our biggest polluters are already folding their
smokestacks. I'll wrap this up. I know you're busy, and it must be confusing
with so many people shouting at you: Rumsfeld and Cheney cheerleading for
another war like the ones they ducked. Your dad and your top generals screaming
"Don't do it!" Even Tony is having second thoughts But click back into
the big picture for a sec. Pretend you're watching Star Trek. Life-support
systems are failing. Alarms are ringing all over the bridge. Some of the
readouts are showing solar flare activity right off the Kp geomagnetic scale.
Then Darth Vader's visage appears on the view screen. Though he has difficulty
speaking in coherent sentences, his intentions are chillingly clear.
With the ship falling to bits, instead of offering to help with repairs,
he's threatening to detonate more bombs inside its leaking pressure hull.
. Every Trekkie knows that, like any spaceship crew, we have
to start pulling together. We've got to personally and corporately stop wasting
water, squandering dirty energy, shredding our ship's solar radiation shielding,
and ripping out the last rainforest air purifiers. Not to mention tossing
persistent mutation and cancer-causing chemicals into our ship's air and water
recyclers. That means you too, George. And the Enron jet you rode in on.
William Thomas is the author of All Fall Down:
The Politics of Terror and Mass Persuasion. Bringing The War Home, Scorched
Earth, Alt. Health and Chemtrails Confirmed.